i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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