Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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