I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
