at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
