Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
