and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
