He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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