I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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