Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
