why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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