Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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