I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cannot find my penis.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
