my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
