I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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