I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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