two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
