i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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