oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
