If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
