I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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