what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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