Me. At least after what I've been through.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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