I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
