i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
