if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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