you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
