i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
