I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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