There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ttyl tear gas
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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