i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
