Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
