Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
