Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
