Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
