Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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