Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
