i just google imaged poop.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
