Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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