the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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