He had one of those small greek statue penises
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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