Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
