She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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