direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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