Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
