I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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