It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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