just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
