So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
