This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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