it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
