I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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