halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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