I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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