Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
