the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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