Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
