My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
